Coming to Your Relationship FULL

Last Fall I watched Gwyneth Paltrow's Sex,  Love and Goop.... and it changed my life.

I even wrote a blog post about it!

One of the practitioners and her partner, Jaiya and Ian, have an online course and community that I joined right after watching the show.

I attend weekly live Zoom calls, and am attending a live event in Boulder, CO this weekend.

Last week, Ian talked about how each of us have different wants, desires, and sexual blueprints.

And just like Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, you have to approach your partner in the way their body desires.

Part of the fun is figuring it out! 😉 (take the quiz in the link to find yours!)

So back to my learning...

It's not my partner's responsibility to ensure I'm "filled up".

That my needs are met.

That my heart is full.

That I'm sated.

That I feel delicious, and beautiful, and sexy, and confident.

What?!?!?!

Did someone tell you that your partner was responsible for fulfilling EVERY need and desire you have and will ever have?

That's a TON of responsibility to place on someone else's shoulders.

What if I am responsible for me?

How would I show up differently?

I'd be able to give more to others, because my own cup would already be overflowing.

I'd give affection freely.

I'd have enough mental space to think about the needs of those around me, and show them love and desire first.

I'd write little love notes and leave them in my partner's office for him to find. 💕 

I'd think about him while I grabbed coffee at our favorite spot and bring some home for him.

I'd actually have enough energy to jump his bones first thing in the morning, when he was still all warm and snuggly and soft from sleep (that's my favorite!).

And I'd show up for sex already satisfied, because I'd already filled my own damn cup.

This concept was HUGE for me.

I've always been the one that found feeling satiated difficult.

I've felt sexually starved most of my adult life.

And to hear someone tell me to fill my own damn cup up myself before coming to my partner was LIFE ALTERING.

And there is always room for more pleasure.

More play. More fun. More teasing. More love to share. More orgasms. More of allllll of it.

I'd like to invite you to share in this concept too of coming (already) full to your partner, and see how your next encounter changes.

Here are 2 of my favorite resources for self-pleasuring and filling up my own cup:

1. Quinn - Adult Literotica App

2.  Bellesa - Conscious & Ethical Adult Videos made by women for women